I MISS MY FAMILY IN AFRICA!!!

Amazing things are continuing to take place in Africa and GFR is making some great progress! I cant help but miss being there and being with all of these people that I have grown to appreciate and love. I made some wonderful friendships while I was there, and grew some some existing ones too. I MISS YOU ALL TONS!

America VS Africa!

As I returned to work today, I got this picture in my mind. One is a picture of the houses I sell and the other is what the people in Africa live in IF they are lucky. I think for a while I will be constantly comparing our ways of life. And thinking of the faces of the special families I visited in Africa.

It seems that my experience has taught me a lot about how I want to live and whats important to me. Things seem like they have been put into perspective and I see things for what they are. I guess what I am trying to say is, when you see reality, outside of most peoples reality here in this country , and you see what and who this planet really consists of, you have a different perspective on things. My cute clothes and my hair, the latest version of cell phones and what kind of car I drive, all suddenly become so minor in comparison to what is going on in other parts of the world. They dont seem so important anymore. They dont seem like priorities anymore. I cant say what a relief and freedom I feel from that! I feel like have been given a TRUE sense of reality that ,I hope, will keep me connected to the people in Africa, but also keep me connected to GOD! When you are living to attain things, there is not satisfaction in that. Maybe temporarily, but it goes away and then we are on the search for the next "fix". I am guilty of this myself. But I have discovered something that fills that need. It is a relationship with God, and doing things that He himself did. Helping people in need. We have so many needs, not just physical, but emotional too. Anyway I am going on a tangent. I am praying that as time goes on I dont EVER forget his new perspective I have on life and what matters to me.

Home sweet home...

I am back home now and I think I am adjusting to the transition pretty good, I guess. It was truly an amazing experience to go to Africa and see REALITY. It is like a breath of fresh air to leave the United States and enter into a way of life that you actually have time to think and process your thoughts! I feel the anxiety of all the business that awaits me. It stinks! I don't want to lose what I gained in Africa... time with God, a sense of who I am and what I like, constant community and relationships being made and nurtured. I have so much new knowledge floating around in my head and I feel like I have many choices and decisions to make that will determine the quality of life that I live. American culture does not allow for much self reflection. Its all about making life easy and convenient. Everything and everyone is in such a hurry. I did not miss that while I was away and I feel the resistance of conforming back into that way of life. I do not want to live life in such a such a way that I am always in a hurry and my schedule is packed with meaningless tasks. I used to think my life was full of important things, but I always wondered why I felt so busy and yet so unfulfilled. There is nothing that gives you more peace than when you are being used by God for His purposes. Somehow, if this is so important to me, I will find a way to keep it my top priority.

Last day in the field

My last day in the field was in a rural area north of Kampala. Obviously, very poor. Can you imagine living like this? I cant. I tried to make these kids laugh so I could see their beautiful smiles.. it worked! I also gave my favorite hoodie to a Jaja (grandmother) because she was freezing. Literally. Her home was not very adequate for keeping warm (the area she lives in is cold at night), plus she has poor circulation, so I figured she needed it more than I did.

I am extremely sad to be leaving tomorrow. I had no idea that I would feel this way. I am sad to leave my family (Pahlow's). I am sad to leave my new friends and GFR family. I am sad to leave Africa and the people I have had such a wonderful experience with. I have gotten so used to screaming boys (Mike and Nate) who rough house all day long. I am even going to miss Hope and Mike bickering over silly things. Amber and I have had some AWESOME laughing attacks right before bed for the last week. Who doesn't love a great laughing attack?! I am going to miss our crazy, praying ,pastor, neighbor who loves to pray AT 1:00 IN THE MORNING at the top of his lungs. I think he is speaking in tongues. Actually, more like chanting. I will miss having constant fellowship and community 24 hours a day! And most of all I am going to miss the fulfillment of knowing I am doing Gods work and having the time to spend with Him whenever I want. Somehow time slips away from us in America, whether we want it to or not, it just happens. So now I go home. I have an overnight stay in London and I hope I have a jacuzzi in my hotel. Thanks for all of your support and comments while I have been here. It has been a tremendous help and encouragement! Stay tuned for the transition back to the US!!!

Not a coincidence

Vicka (Vee-ka) was an orphan who was adopted by Father's House (NGO and family we met) 4 years ago, in the Ukraine. We were passing by each other this evening in the kitchen, and she asked me why the Lord brought me to Uganda?

I had just been sitting in my room reading "The Mom Factor" and was a little sad and discouraged by all that I had been reading. My reason for going downstairs was to find Melody and talk about why I was feeling upset and on the verge of tears. I don't think it was a coincidence that I was approached by Vicka instead. I told her that I was not really sure why God had brought me to Uganda, other than A LOT OF PERSONAL GROWTH! She began telling me a story about a friend of hers who had come to Uganda and had a similar experience. It was her first mission trip also. I think Vicka could sense that something was going on with me as she began speaking to me about Gods Love. Vicka told me that God has to mend our inner wounds before HIS LOVE can flow through us unto others. That our wounds hinder us from being able to allow the Holy Spirit to flow through us. I just knew that God was ministering to my heart at that moment, that HE was speaking to me. I have been doing a lot of soul searching on this trip, and realizing many sources of pain in my life and from my childhood. I asked Vicka if we could sit and talk about how God began to heal her and her past. She told me that one of the major ways God began to heal her was by bringing her to Father's House and placing her in a family where she began to receive the love of God. She continued to tell me how we are not defined by our earthly parents or their lack of providing (for all of our needs), but by our Heavenly Father who has adopted us as His daughters. She shared with me her story and told me how God is able to do His work through her, here in Uganda. That she is not the one who does anything, that is only God who works through her because she surrenders her will to Him daily. She also told me that she is not done healing, that she still continues to allow God to do His work of healing in her today. I realized, as she was talking to me, the very reason why I came here to Uganda. I needed to be here, away from my busy life and busy mind trying to fill myself with things, to spend some time with God. As I wrote about in a blog earlier, God wants to show me His love and He wants me to know that He is my parent! He defines me and He LOVES ME! It seems that I have been working on this healing thing for quite a while now and just when I begin to think I am making progress I find myself deeper into my wounds than I even knew existed. God gets to the heart of things and doesn't settle for imitations. He is faithful to finish the work he starts in us. I asked Vicka if she would pray for me and she gladly did. I am so glad that I "ran into her" in my kitchen tonight. I've heard these meetings called GOD APPOINTMENTS and there is no doubt in my mind that, that's exactly what it was!

I love these guys!

Cyprien and Bosco, both GFR staff. It has been a lot of fun having them around! I am going to miss all of the GFR staff tons!