GOD LOVES ME!!!

A friend asked me if I saw Jesus on my trip... Well as I was thinking about this I decided to journal about how I saw Jesus. I wrote about how I saw Him in the Hope that these families would be sponsored, and how I saw him in the money we were able to give to people who were in desperate need. I also saw Him in the people's lives who were answering their calling by coming here to touch the lives of the people in Africa, who no one even knows about. I also started to think about how much I have seen Jesus working in MY OWN LIFE. As I sat and reflected on some things I may want to do with my life, there is much more going on inside my heart... I am aching in my heart because I have this HUGE need and desire to feel loved. This may sound crazy but stick with me... As a single women, not exactly super young, there is a desire to find someone to share my life with. While I am trying to be very patient and prepare myself for my future husband (God willing) there are times when the desire is overwhelming. I really try to seek God out and ask Him to fill the need and the desire because I know that He is all I need. It is not something I had FELT quite yet with my heart, but I knew it in my head. Having my earthly father absent in most ways and starving for whatever it is that they are supposed to provide for their daughters (I do have a good idea what that is), I have been praying that God would make His love known to me and real to me. There is something about Gods revelation that takes a thought in your head, and moves it down into a feeling in your heart. God allowed me to feel his love for me for the first time yesterday!!! I KNEW then that God would never love me more than He did at that exact moment! Whether I went to school to get a better education, or I went to Africa, or looked prettier or had more money... nothing I could DO could make me earn His love anymore. This was HUGE for me. I am a "performer" and have thought, up until now, that If I could just DO MORE than I could make people love me. I am so thankful that I am freed from that LIE!!! I feel like I no longer need to try to earn any one's love, but need to try to live a life pleasing to the ONE who Created me. I also prayed last week that I would only receive the blessings that I WOULD in turn use to bless others...Don't ask me why I prayed that crazy prayer... But I do believe that we can not give what we have not ourselves received. I think that God will use my revelation to be able to speak with confidence to the people here that GOD TRUELY DOES LOVE THEM TOO!!!